Terror Firma: Canada Has Emerged as the Biggest Rival to Pakistan’s Most Lucrative Industry


The Commander-in-Chief of Pakistan’s Inter-Services Intelligence (ISI), the organisation which runs the country, is in a meeting with his Flunky-in-Chief.

Commander-in-Chief: We’ve got a problem that poses a threat to our status in the international community.

Flunky-in-Chief: We do indeed, Boss. A problem called India.

C-in-C: India? Don’t be a bigger idiot than you already are. India is not our biggest problem, India is our biggest asset, without which we’d be out of business.

F-in-C: Gee, Boss, I always thought that India was our biggest enemy.

C-in-C: India is our biggest enemy because of Kashmir, Partition and all that stuff, which is precisely why it is also our biggest asset, which supports our most important industry. In fact, which helps support our only industry: providing a safe haven for terrorists. No India, no terrorists. No terrorists, no millions of

American dollars by way of bribes to make us pretend we’re on the US side in their ‘War Against Terror’

F-in-C: You’re right, Boss. India is our biggest asset. So what’s this problem that threatens our status in the international community?

C-in-C: The problem is a place called Canada.

F-in-C Canada? I think I’ve heard of it. It’s a part of America no?

C-in-C: The problem is a place called Canada.

F-in-C: Canada? I think I’ve heard of it. It’s a part of America, no?

C-in-C: It is, sort of. But it’s also challenging our global reputation for being the biggest sanctuary for terrorists of all kinds, not to mention gangsters, and other assorted psychos. Canada’s become a threat to our brand image of Terrorists ‘R’ Us.

F-in-C: No kidding, Boss. How did that happen?

C-in-C: Well, like us, Canada didn’t have much by way of industry, except for something called maple syrup.

F-in-C: Maple syrup? What’s that?
C-in-C: Exactly. So they had to find something to do, and harbouring terrorists and other fugitives filled the gap.

F-in-C: So what should we do about it, Boss?

C-in-C: We should invite all their terrorists to come and set up shop here. Our sales pitch being Location, in that we’re much closer to India than Canada is.

F-in-C: Shall I go get a red carpet to welcome them?

C-in-C: Make it a green carpet – it’s more eco-friendly…

Source: Times of India